SMT
I recently got accepted onto the Summer Ministry Team at my small Christian college. We’ll be touring the country helping out at various churches, youth camps, shelters and the like.
I have mixed emotions.
At first I was super pumped to actually have a mission in mind and to have something productive and helpful that I could do, but then I was late to both the interview and the first meeting.
WHO DOES THAT?
Apparently I do.
Is that God telling me to get the fuck out before I ruin it for everyone?
Maybe. I don’t know.
Then I read over some “Spiritual Gifts” thing online, and it made me really think about my faith. I tend to write a lot of “traditional Christian cultural language” as obnoxious and ridiculous. Am I right? Am I just being scornful of what I don’t understand? Have I let myself be compromised in ways that I shouldn’t have?
I just don’t know. I’m a normal human, and I’m also a “Christian” though I don’t like being associated with that label because it comes with ridiculous connotations and scummy baggage.
I just don’t know.
Completely honest?
It’s not like anyone reads this drivel, so maybe I can do what I want here.
That’d be cool.
Gonna do it.
For serious, yo.
I’m going to get shit doooone.
So there’s this boy…
He listens to the same indie bands as me and he looks like Spencer Reid from Criminal Minds but with braces.
I’m hooked.
Things change.
So I have a guilt complex. I am a narcissist and therefore project blame from every situation onto myself for silly reasons at times. I need to grow up in that aspect.
In fact, I need to grow up in many aspects, but lately, I’ve come to the realization that some people are just total dickwads, and I can’t go blaming myself for it. I did nothing to warrant their dickwadhood shining through on this fine day, and I’m not going to do anything to try and “fix” their addiction to being a dick.
So you want to fuck me over and belittle me? Kay. Sounds good. You go ahead and do that, cause I’m tired of being your fucking punching bag, and I’m out.
Here’s a hint: If you’re going to pretend to be a grown up, don’t fuck your friends over like a preteen bitch.
Kthnxbye.
I want you on my boobs.
